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Oh, just one more thing if I may... - MegaZone's Safety Valve
The Ramblings of a Damaged Mind
zonereyrie
zonereyrie
Oh, just one more thing if I may...
Some questions cribbed from dirteecrayon because I liked them. :-)

1. worst sex experience?

When I lived in Berkeley, California I met a woman who was quite obviously sexually interested in me. (Believe it or not, and she wasn't the only one. I know, probably the drugs.) Thing is, I wasn't interested in her. She was a friend, but I just didn't find her attractive. I wouldn't even say she was unattractive - the spark just wasn't there for me. But she would tell me directly that she was hot for me, and when we spent time together she'd tell me about how it had been so long since she'd had sex, etc. Basically needling me about the fact that she wanted me and was horny and that I could help her out. Well, one day I was at her place helping fix her computer (Dear Penthouse Forum, you won't believe this, but...) and she was really coming on to me. Truth is I was horny, just in general, and tired. So she wore me down. I rationalized it. I liked her and thought of her as a friend, and it was just sex and I'd had sex with friends before, etc. So I did it. We ended up in her room, clothes came off, and we got to it - then she went to get on top of me. No condom. HOLD IT! She knew I did NOT have unprotected sex, this had come up in conversation. And then she tries to tell me not to worry about it? Excuse me?! WTF?! Game over, I'm out. I felt like a complete piece of meat that she was just using to get off. (Yeah, I know, role-reversal, right?) That ended the friendship too, I felt totally violated.

2. what are you most afraid of?

Losing my faculties. I am very much a being of intellect - I self-identify based on my knowledge and my skills. While I was in high school I watched my grandfather die of Alzheimer's. It was a long, slow death that took several years. I watched him forget the little things, and then major things - and then his family, and himself. Around the same time my great-uncle was dying from degenerative hip disease. His bones got brittle and weak, and eventually he was bed-ridden. Right up until the end his mind was sharp and he had quite a sense of humor. He did within a week of my grandfather. If I had to go one way or the other, I'd rather keep my mind and have my body wither. Neither is pleasant, but for me I'd have the net and I could still do so much of what I do now even with a healthy body. But to have my mind go... I'd rather kill myself than live with that. The most frightening part for me were the moments that I could see in my grandfather's eyes that he *knew* what was happening to him, and that he was scared.

3. whats a strange fact about you?

I legally changed my name to MegaZone. Do you need more?

4. whats your sexiest body part?

IMHO, my eyes.

5. do you always tell people what you think of them?

No. Sometimes there is no point. If someone is just passing through my life and they're an asshole, actually telling them "Hey, you're an asshole" doesn't really accomplish anything. Actually what I REALLY find myself wishing I had the nerve to do is tell attractive women that they are so. Not as a pickup, just as an honest compliment. You know "By the way, you have stunning eyes", "I really love the way you smile", "That's really cool ink" - just because I do. But I know that if I say something like that they'll probably think I'm coming on to them, or that I'm just generally some kind of creep. Happened to me yesterday on the flight back. There was a very pretty young lady on my flight and I ended up standing next to her waiting for the bags (no, not deliberately) and I had the urge to just tell her that she was pretty and had a nice smile, but then I figured the reaction would be 'back away slowly'. I tend to be very self-conscious about my size, and think that I probably come across as threatening without meaning to.

I am: off-kilter
Current Media: office buzz

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Comments
z_gryphon From: z_gryphon Date: August 12th, 2003 07:06 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
see, now, question 1 is exactly why the gods gave us LJ-cut.
mindways From: mindways Date: August 13th, 2003 07:20 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
It's not *that* long.

(Or were you referring to content? If so...well, the entry isn't particularly graphic; it's a serious answer to a serious question, and it says "Worst sex experience" up at the top, which is a pretty clear marker of sexual content. I really don't see any reason to gripe.)
chemical_pocky From: chemical_pocky Date: August 12th, 2003 07:46 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
Wow, you legally changed your name? How'd that come about? What was your name before?
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: August 12th, 2003 07:49 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
Yeah, I changed it back in 2000. I'd been using MegaZone regularly since 1989 and I decided to just go all the way and make it legal. My name used to be Brian.
mindways From: mindways Date: August 13th, 2003 07:15 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
Actually what I REALLY find myself wishing I had the nerve to do is tell attractive women that they are so. Not as a pickup, just as an honest compliment. You know "By the way, you have stunning eyes", "I really love the way you smile", "That's really cool ink" - just because I do. But I know that if I say something like that they'll probably think I'm coming on to them, or that I'm just generally some kind of creep.

Granted, I don't have the shaved-head and I'm lanky, but I'm still a tall guy dressed all in black - and I've found this can work out OK.

A few things I've found that can help avoid intimidation:
1. Avoid romantically charged words like "love", "sexy", "hot", etc - instead of "I love your smile", saying "You have a great smile", for instance.
2. Give the compliment just before parting ways. That avoids the impression that the compliment is a lead-in attempt at a pick-up or something, and avoids the awkward silence you can get directly after the exchange of "I really love the way you smile." "Thanks!" "..." "..."
3. Compliment something that they've obviously spent time/care on - hair is a prime example, esp. if styled or dyed in an interesting way; likewise tattoos or clothes.

Not that you necessarily need to do all of these every time or anything, but they can help if applied appropriately. Presentation/body language can also make a big difference.

In general, it's been my experience that the vast majority of people enjoy being complimented, so long as they don't think the compliment is an attempt to get something out of them.
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