November 9th, 2003

Zoner en fuego!

More Poll Q&A

More questions from my poll.

So, why were we both sleeping with her at same time?
Well, when I started I didn't know you were! You'd kept it a secret, at least quiet enough that I wasn't aware of anything going on between you two. Heck, even after the first night when I came back to our room and told you what happened you laughed. And when I asked what you were laughing about you said you couldn't say, but you'd tell me later. So I just didn't know. ;-) Of course, I'm not sure it would've mattered had I known, given the circumstances.

What are your general political opinions?
I'm an independent - I tend to think pretty much all of the parties are fucked up. But I'm mostly liberal I'd say - but not a by the book liberal. I'm anti-death penalty, anti-gun-control (I like, and own, guns), pro-choice, pro-legalization (mainly for pot, but also some other drugs). I want to see more spent on education. I want to see nuclear power brought back to replace all the fossil fuel plants, and more money devoted to fusion research.

I think the 'War on X' thing is overdone and stupid. The US sticks its dick into too many situations and then acts shocked when people are angry with us. I think there should be some kind of national health coverage, not just treatment for those who can afford it. When it comes to Iraq, generally speaking, I think we did the right thing - ousting Saddam, for the wrong reasons - WMD, political expedience, etc. I think it was cleaning up the mess we left 10 years ago when we decided to leave him in power the first time. Most of the 'security improvements' introduced since 9/11 are nothing more than nuisances and invasions of privacy put up as window dressing to pacify the public by making them think something is being done. I think John Ashcroft is more of a threat to me and my freedoms than any terrorist.

I think the ban on human genetic research and cloning is stupid. I believe it will just drive the work to other countries who will take the biotech lead. I'd love to see working human cloning. ;-) I'm also 100% in favor of research on cybernetics. I don't think the government should be dictating what areas of research are 'acceptable' - especially not at such an early stage, no one can say what areas might pay off.

Independent of anything else, I think Dubya looks like a moron every time he gets on camera. He has the mannerisms of a complete dolt and I'm embarrassed to have him as the public face of our country. His dad wasn't great, but he was certainly a better speaker. Neither have all that much charisma though.
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Zoner en fuego!

More poll Q&A

Do you think you're past your otaku phase?
I like to think I never hat an 'otaku phase'. For many years I've told people to not call me an otaku. Otaku is an insult. I'm an anime fan, but it doesn't run my life. I would like to think I have social skills and I function well outside of some tiny area of fandom. Which otaku do not. I don't understand why American fandom embraced the term - no, wait, yes I do - ignorance and stupidity. "Oh, otaku, that means, like, big fan, right? Yeah! We're otaku!" No, it means 'fanboy' in the more derogatory manner possible, only moreso.

Early in my anime fandom, in the late 80s, anime was harder to find and it was a smaller community. So yeah, I got more excited about getting my hands on something new. These days I have hundreds of DVDs, VHS, and LD - probably a couple dozen I haven't even watched yet. And I watch most of my anime these days off of my TiVo from Cartoon Network and TechTV. So there isn't a lot I get excited over just because I manage to see it now.
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Life

Lately I've been having really strong "What's my purpose?" feelings again. A decade ago I dreamt about changing things, inventing something useful, 'making a difference'. I volunteered for things, ran mailing lists, poured my heart and soul into projects because they were 'the right thing to do' or because I thought it would be useful to other people or make a lot of people happy. Now I drag my ass to work and worry about paying off my unemployment debt, worry if I'll have the money to take a vacation and relax next summer. I'm finding it hard to be motivated at all to work on my responsibilities for Pacific Media Expo. I've dropped all of the other projects I used work on. Even projects I'd really like to see working, I can't find the drive to get started on. My biggest dream is hoping my pet project at work that I've been pushing for a long time finally gets the nod from management and I can do it. But even then I wonder if I really have the skills for it. See, the other feelings I'm having again are the "I'm totally faking my entire life and I'm not qualified for any of this" type. I'm just a drone bluffing my way through and so far I've been fairly lucky. But I feel like my luck has to run out at some point and then I'll be exposed as a fraud and sent off in shame. I'm a hamster in a wheel. Each day is pretty much like the last one. i'm just a little older and a little more dead.
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