August 21st, 2004

Anime MZ


I haven't been posting much for the past few weeks. There is a lot on my mind, but the little time I've had I've been devoting to trying to stay healthy and sane. There is a bunch of stuff I'd meant to say, but I don't know if I'll ever get back to it.

A few weeks ago I sent up to Millinocket, Maine for the weekend to hang with z_gryphon. That was nice - I hadn't seen him for way too long and I miss having him around. Like we joke - he's my hetero-life-mate, and best friend. Not having him nearby is sucky. I wish it wasn't a 6 hour trip to see him, I'd do it more often. The drive itself isn't so bad, I like driving, just the scheduling with everything else going on. It is long enough it is really a several day trip if you want enough time to do anything while there.

That was shortly before The Blur. The Blur is the two week time period leading up to last weekend. Actually things started to get crazy two weeks before *that*, but the final two weeks were crazy. I worked a number of 20 hour days in there and it got so I was completely out of it. What little bio-rhythm I normally have was totally gone - no pattern at all to sleeping or eating. In those two weeks I pushed out an update to the Pay Cash Payment Gateway, did all the existing documentation, worked with my boss to create product sheets for the Pay Cash System and the PPG specifically, worked on the new website - in particularly doing the entire merchant area myself, and at the same time brought up a few new PPG merchants on our system. Then Thursday afternoon it was off to Hollywood, FL for Internext. I had my luggage adventure, as previously reported, and worked our booth all three days.

Driving home from Logan on Sunday night I really, really had to fight to stay awake. With all of the immediacy lifted and the source of the stress gone my body, and brain, started to shut down. I'd burned out my reserves before the show, and I was running on fumes. I managed to get home and unpack, but most of that is hazy. I was out for good by 4AM and I didn't really get up until nearly midnight. I woke up a couple of times in there, but was still so tired I just laid down again. So I slept for about 20 hours. Tuesday I was back in the office and I kept it to a fairly reasonable day. Wednesday I ended up working fairly late trying to get everything caught up, working about 13 hours, but I still managed to get 7 hours of sleep or so that night. That's normally fine, but I felt *dead* Thursday - obviously still not recovered. Thursday I worked a more reasonable day, and I took Friday off as the other make-up day for working the show.

I'm still feeling 'not right' in some undefinable way. Just a bit off-kilter. I've been getting tired sooner than I expect to, and when I do I tend to shut down fast - falling asleep on the couch kind of thing. Today I did some laundry, did my dishes, and made up my list for grocery shopping. I was hoping it'd stop raining, but I guess I'll go do that anyway. I *need* to get stuff in this house, I haven't been grocery shopping in a couple of *months*. I'm out of most everything.

I'm hoping that the next few weeks remain semi-sane. I really need to start seriously looking for a house. And now that mere is working a day job I'm hoping we can start spending some time together again. And then there is Purgatory coming up. I need to get things more balanced. I did get out for a bit last night, I went to see Collateral. I thought it was a good film. I rather liked Vincent. I could see my UF Exile character being kind of like that for a while.
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