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Unintentional offense - and trying not to offend - how do you handle this?
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: March 27th, 2003 02:30 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
One of them has taken to messaging, and if I don't respond within 30-60s, just quitting off, sometimes with a "Well, fine, I'll talk to you some other time" sort of message, which is highly annoying.
Yeah, I've experienced that a few times and it is very annoying. Especially because I'd had people *completely* blow it out of proportion. I have *3* machines at my desk, I don't run IM on my primary (Linux) desktop, I run it on my secondary (WinXP) desktop along with Outlook, GoldMine, and the other Windows stuff I need to have for my job. The 3rd machine is another Linux box that hosts CVS and some test code. If I'm heads down in perl on my primary desktop, my WinXP box has often hibernated from disuse - and I focus deeply, plus often have music on, so I don't hear Trillian bleep. Or maybe I do but I'm not going to break out of my groove to check it *right now*.

So I'll check periodically and I'll have some peevish message chain like "Hi", "What's up?", "Are you ignoring me?", "Hey, why won't you respond?", "Well fine, if you don't want to talk to me then I'll just get out of your life!" Which just kind of leaves me blinking and wondering "WTF?!" Especially when it is someone I care about and now I have to smooth things over because they feel like *I* was being a dick.

(And I'll scream if anyone reading this goes "Oh, I know he's talking about me.")

I'm sure sometimes it is just someone having a bad day, I've had days when I think the universe is out to get me and I'm just generally pissed and looking for a target to unleash upon.