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Product placement... - MegaZone's Safety Valve
The Ramblings of a Damaged Mind
zonereyrie
zonereyrie
Product placement...
<div style="voice: announcer;">
Life got you down? Work stressing you out? Relationships just not happening?

We can help! Try Fukitol! Yes, just one Fukitol a day can help you forget all your cares and worries. Relax and enjoy the day, thanks to Fukitol.

For those really stressful days, try new Maximum Strength Fukitol! The strongest Fukitol you can get without a prescription! Even those overdue projects and messy breakups will seem insignificant with Maximum Strength Fukitol.

Fukitol works best when combined with alcohol, and lots of it.

Fukitol - from the makers of Damitol.
</div>

I am: sore sore
Current Media: quiet office

3 STDOUT || STDIN
Comments
wednes From: wednes Date: June 3rd, 2004 10:32 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
Where can i find this amazing product?

Oh wait, I had some leftover in my weed box.
Go figure.
(Deleted comment)
jumblies From: jumblies Date: June 5th, 2004 12:02 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)

Some More New Drugs


D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E T

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
3 STDOUT || STDIN