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The Ramblings of a Damaged Mind
A review of Undocumented Features
norikos_author posted a glowing review of Undocumented Features today. Wow...

It gave me very mixed feelings. Because I was involved in a lot of that - one of the scenes I'm really proud of is briefly mentioned, where Corwin screams in with Daggerdisc to rescue everyone. I remember plotting that scene out with z_gryphon at The Shamrock House - it was, and still is, *extremely* vivid in my minds eye. I wish I had the dollars and skills to animate it. Scenes like that really stick in my head - I think I'm a frustrated action director - another one is the scene in Hopelessly lost where G.O.D. smashes through the aerodyne.

But it is mixed because I fell out of writing a couple of years ago. I'd already been kind of on the edges - working more on plotting and such with Gryph, and not as much actual writing - but over time I contributed less and less, and eventually stopped. It wasn't really intentional - just one of those life things. I started a new job and got really busy, Gryph moved to Maine and the synergy we had was disrupted by distance. I'm far more creative when he's around to bounce ideas off of. Gryph is really the one with the gift - I find it much easier to create when he's around to bounce things off of in real time. I've also never been good about sitting in the EPU IRC channels - and that's forbidden at work anyway, where i am most of the time people are talking shop.

I really miss writing. But I feel so out of the loop, and I don't want to be a spare tire either. I know it frustrates Gryph to have to pull people up to speed and play editor all the time, and he has enough shit to deal with. To be honest, I haven't even *read* the stories since the middle of the second Symphony. I don't know - it just bothered me in some way. I guess it was something I was part of that I recognized I wasn't any more, and it was easier just not to deal with it. I also dropped off the EPU forums at about the same time.

After reading the review though - I think I need to make some time and catch myself up. Who knows, maybe I can find a way to contribute again. I've cut out pretty much everything in my life other than work. I have no lover. I don't seem to read many books that aren't work related. I have dozens of unwatched DVDs just sitting there. I haven't written prose or poetry in a couple of years. All work and no play makes Zoner no fun.

I think Gryph was kind of a balancing influence in my life - when he was around it kept me from obsessing too much, and it always kept my creative spark lit. I need to stop being lazy and make an effort to do it for myself I guess.

I am: busy busy
Current Media: office cleaners

z_gryphon From: z_gryphon Date: February 24th, 2005 03:27 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
All work and no play makes Zoner no fun dead.

Which is a bad plan.
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: February 24th, 2005 03:34 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
Well, at least I'd get enough rest. heh heh heh... yeah... feh

I see you cleaned house in the EPU forums while I was away. :-)
z_gryphon From: z_gryphon Date: February 24th, 2005 03:52 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
Yeah, there was an outbreak of Deeply Annoying Stuff in .general. I think I left the files in place and just made the forum disappear from the tree, if you want to look at it sometime.
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: February 24th, 2005 04:03 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
Bump the new me up to admin and I can browse around in the tombs. :-)
z_gryphon From: z_gryphon Date: February 24th, 2005 04:15 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
I thought I had.
pawo From: pawo Date: March 1st, 2005 09:09 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
> All work and no play makes Zoner no fun dead.

Dead Zoners aren't much fun.
arconius From: arconius Date: February 24th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)

Also a frustrated action director...

I see the movies in my head quite clearly sometimes. That's usually when the best artwork gets produced. *wg*

If it's any consolation, I know what you're going through. My text contributions faded away after NXE, in large part due to real life getting in the way. I have a couple text pieces I've been hacking at for a couple years now, but the people who were helping me with them are either no longer in EPU or have an ongoing time shortage themselves, so I'm reduced to contributing the occasional piece of art.

And it's probably going to get worse since there are more art projects in the pipe and, well, the bills must be paid. *wl*
pawo From: pawo Date: March 1st, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
I'm not a workaholic like you, and I'm having trouble fitting important non-work activities in to my schedule. It's hard to give priority to non-urgent personal activities when there are many very urgent (and supposedly important) tasks clamoring for your attention. I think it helps to step back a bit and take a long-term view. Ask yourself "years from now, which of these activities would I be most glad to have accomplished? Which would I most regret having left undone?"