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Happy - MegaZone's Safety Valve
The Ramblings of a Damaged Mind
zonereyrie
zonereyrie
Happy
Mark your calendars - I'd have to say I'm happy.

I'm soaked in rain and sweat (you haul around 400# in 100% humidity), my feet and ankles are hurting badly and my legs are stiff enough that I'm limping (three days off hardcore walking on concrete), and I'm dog tired.

But I'm happy.

Sadly I'm in the Durango. about to hit the road for Jupiter. But the last few days were very much needed and I feel great - barring a little physical pain, but even that is the good kind, earn in fun.

Two more days and in is back to cold, taxes, work... I'm going to do my best not to think about that. :-)

I am: happy happy
Current Media: radio

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Comments
kadnkadnk From: kadnkadnk Date: March 26th, 2005 05:53 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
Is it being with your family that makes you happy? Or getting away from stress? Or walking in the rain? Or seeing lots of beautiful exotic women?

If your happiness is such an elusive thing that you need to mark it on the calendar, maybe more frequent vacations are just the answer.

I'm so glad you had a good time. I'm a bit jealous because I've been sick as a dog (well, a sick dog) all week.

-k
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: March 26th, 2005 11:19 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
All of the above really - well, the latter probably makes me more horny than happy. ;-) (Which could lead to frustration, being single... ;-) )

I don't see my folks much since they moved to Florida. The last time I came down and saw them was last February. I saw them late last year when they were up in NY - we met up in Western MA for dinner. So it was only for a few hours. My day just turned 62 on the 19th, my mom turns 60 on April 4th. I'm becoming aware of the fact that I may not see them many more times. If it is once a year - I don't want to think about that right now, I'm sitting here at the counter watching my mom make dinner and my dad is behind me watching TV and just thinking about that makes me start to cry...

Getting away from the stress makes me feel really good. My life feels like a grind - same shit, different day. I'm always sleep deprived, I'm always behind on things I need to do, I never have enough of a break to really relax, so it just builds up. I know that's part of why I have high blood pressure, and why I always feel tired, and why I get sick, etc. It just wears you down. I really wish I was here for another week. It took me a few days to stop thinking about work - the first few days here I just kept thinking about work, my taxes, things I still need to do, etc. Takes me a few days to really purge that out of my mind and just relax and enjoy.

I keep forgetting how to focus on 'now' and enjoy things - I get too easily caught up in what has to be done 'then', and I'm always juggling a dozen things in my head. It is helpful for working, but it is had for me to shut it down. I find that when I'm in a relationship it is easier, because it is natural for me to think about my partner and being happy. But when I'm single my brain tends to fill up with work.

I know what happens - I forget what it feels like to be happy. Really - when I'm happy I'm like "Hey, I'm happy, this is great!" But after a while I get swamped and I just feel grey most of the time, and I can't remember what it was like to be happy. I remember that I *was*, and that it was nice - but I can't hold onto that feeling, and that just makes it worse.
eryn_ From: eryn_ Date: March 26th, 2005 07:21 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
Good for you.

Very glad for you, and thrilled that you're able to revel in the feeling.

Worst part about being unhappy for so long is when actually being happy is such a shock to the system that it makes me feel sick.

Are you sure you can't become happy from, I dunno, needlepoint or something? That would be more convenient...
jezel From: jezel Date: March 26th, 2005 09:22 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
It makes me smile to hear you say that...
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