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When Your Dorm Connection Isn’t Fast Enough - MegaZone's Safety Valve
The Ramblings of a Damaged Mind
zonereyrie
zonereyrie
When Your Dorm Connection Isn’t Fast Enough
From AVN Online. (I read it for work. Yes, really.)
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When Your Dorm Connection Isn’t Fast Enough
AVN Online.com

By: Jimmie "J.J." James

TEMPE, Ariz. -

An 18-year-old male Arizona State University student was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and pubic sexual indecency after a Sunday night incident at Arizona State University’s Hayden Library.

The suspect is alleged to have pulled his pants and underwear down to his thighs and to have begun masturbating while watching pornography on a laptop computer.

When questioned by arresting officers about why he had gone to the library to watch porn and masturbate, the unidentified student allegedly replied, “To be honest, the Internet connection at my dorm isn’t good enough.”

It seems that in this day and age, it’s all about high-speed Internet connections.
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I could say something, but then I remember things done while I was at WPI, some of which I was involved in, and really shouldn't throw stones at this kid I suppose... Tempting as it is...

Tags: ,
I am: amused amused
Current Media: quiet office

11 STDOUT || STDIN
Comments
z_gryphon From: z_gryphon Date: February 7th, 2006 02:20 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
Dude, there's a difference between getting knobbed under a table in a dead-end side branch of a common-area corridor and just whipping it out in the library.
sleet01 From: sleet01 Date: February 7th, 2006 06:21 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
1) zOMG, *the* Gryphon?!

2) Love the icon.

3) I can think of a dozen ways to pull this off, haha, and not get caught. The main difference is that this guy is a tool and deserves to have his ass pirated in the lockup for his egregious stupidity.
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: February 7th, 2006 09:21 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
1. Yes, we are good friends you realize.

2. ...

3. I never got caught.
sleet01 From: sleet01 Date: February 8th, 2006 01:12 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
1) I may have read that somewhere... where did I read that?

2) It's Spider Jerusalem, a well-known bald guy. And he has a spider tattoo on prominent display, while sadly your bald guy icon has only a goatee.

3) Maybe practice makes perfect, and that kid had just found out what his nads are for? I still can't fathom this level of idiocy.
zonereyrie From: zonereyrie Date: February 8th, 2006 04:16 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
I know who spider Jerusalem is, I just didn't have a comment.

And my bald guy is anime-me.
pawo From: pawo Date: February 8th, 2006 01:42 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)
>1) zOMG, *the* Gryphon?!
Now I'm confused... Do you not realize that zonereyrie is *the* Zoner?
sleet01 From: sleet01 Date: February 9th, 2006 12:37 am (UTC) (Direct Link)

I'm crying but you can't see it.

1.A) Yes, yes, I did realize that quite plainly.

1.B) But it is difficult to properly convey a properly geeky level of admiration *and* self-deprecation, even with the clever use of 'zOMG'. I will attempt to be more clear in the future.

1.C) Then again, his icon doesn't look anything like how I pictured him in my head, so I can hardly be blamed if I *didn't* recognize The Zoner, now can I?
pawo From: pawo Date: February 9th, 2006 01:25 am (UTC) (Direct Link)

This post is smiley captioned but you can't see it.

1.A) Yes, yes, I did realize that quite plainly.
Since even the Zoner seems to have missed that point in this thread, I'd say it wasn't quite plain.
1.B) But it is difficult to properly convey a properly geeky level of admiration *and* self-deprecation, even with the clever use of 'zOMG'. I will attempt to be more clear in the future.
When introducing yourself, attempting to imitate a person who's too excited to type properly isn't the best technique to employ. It's likely to be assumed that you're really just too excited to type properly.
1.C) Then again, his icon doesn't look anything like how I pictured him in my head, so I can hardly be blamed if I *didn't* recognize The Zoner, now can I?
If you were really showing the proper level of admiration and self-deprecation, you'd avert your eyes instead of looking directly at the Zoner's icon.
ardaniel From: ardaniel Date: February 7th, 2006 02:24 am (UTC) (Direct Link)
"Dude. WTF. We're in the *lab.*"
"A man's got certain needs, Ardaniel."
"A man can have his needs *in his dorm room,* then. Good Lord."

--me and a friend, Pitt, 1999
sleet01 From: sleet01 Date: February 7th, 2006 06:17 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)

No excuse in this day and age...

Especially when you can use bittorrent to download free porn at night, burn it to a DVD, re-enc it for the small screen with any number of free tools, and then copy it to your PDA or iPod for use in any number of less obvious locations (a bathroom, the bus, one's cubicle at work).

Honestly, kids these days ^_^
elfs From: elfs Date: February 7th, 2006 06:25 pm (UTC) (Direct Link)

Re: No excuse in this day and age...

That's what I was thinking. With even a lousy connection one can run a usenet binary harvester that will overload even the horniest teenage mind in less than 24 hours.
11 STDOUT || STDIN